Any driven young athlete has a powerful purpose to be an outstanding player whether it is for peer recognition or for personal satisfaction.  They set goals and dedicate themselves to working hard to attain those goals.  They drive forward and take responsibility for developing their skills and attitudes.  Behind that drive lays the most influential attitude for their success: confidence. 

Fear Inhibits Confidence
The lack of confidence is the biggest influencer to failure.  No one sets failure as a goal, but failure is a statistical probability in competitive sports and a player needs to face the possibility.  Young athletes cannot be afraid to fail.  Confidence is not gained by being timid and fearful.  As anxious about their tasks as they may be, a player must find the courage to face failure and perform with strength and aggressiveness.

The greatest obstacle on the road to confidence is fear.  Fear of embarrassment, fear of humiliation, fear of a parent's wrath, or fear of not making a team.  Basically, fear of failure and the unknown.

The first step to overcoming fear is admitting your fears instead of denying and suppressing them.  That is, admitting and conquering.  Fears come from uncertainty.  No one can make us feel as if we are failures without our own consent.  Confident people never consent.  They approach risky and challenging situation without the possibility of being a failure.  Failing at a task does not make the person a failure.  Failing at a task just sets a marker in time that can be overcome with hard work and dedication.  To keep their perspective, they remember past successes, skills they have developed that turned initial shortcomings into strengths, and realize they will do it again in the future.

Fear is a monstrous liar.  It tells us that situations are more threatening and harder to handle than they truly are.  It tells us we are not capable of dealing successfully with these unknown situations. It suggest to us that there are terrible, unnamed consequences for failing to handle these situations.  Fear breaks down our confidence, brainwashes us, and makes us play a losing mental game.

Confidence Requires Risk-Taking
The development of confidence requires risk-taking - to move into uncharted waters.  It comes through gradual accomplishments.  Each success encourages us to persevere as we struggle with the next step.  That is why the specific goals a player focuses on each day are so important and why those goals must be measurable and achievable.  Their confidence will grow with these daily, identifiable successes and their total performance will improve.

It is a simple formula, but not commonly implemented and achieved because players tend to jump to the ends while disregarding the means to those ends.  Peak performance is an end while goal setting and dedication to skill development are the means.  The start of confidence building has nothing to do with whether we are right or wrong or whether we win or lose.  Most important is what we think and perceive about ourselves.  How we perceive ourselves matters more than how other peoples opinions of us or what they see us doing.  This is where confidence is found ... It is inside each of us.  Nobody can give it to us and nobody can take it away.

Bottling Up Fear and Throwing It Away
Self-awareness comes first.  In specific situations, we can pay attention to the signals and be aware of what is happening to us.  If we do not like what is happening, it is our responsibility to stop what we have been doing and look fear in the face.  Step back from the situation, take a long deep breath, let the air out slowly, and change our self-talk and thoughts so that it focuses on what we want to do in this situation.  Do not allow yourself to be controlled by fear and uncertainty.  Step away from the situation, put the environment into perspective, and get your composure back in order.  Take deep breaths and change your self-talk to what you want to accomplish.  Get singularly focused on the immediate task and tell yourself how you will succeed.  Do not just cope with the situation, but conquer it.

Each time we confront fear we gain courage.  Perform a reality check by reviewing the situation and examine it in a clear and thoughtful way.  Take the responsibility away from your emotions and give it to your rational self to provide a sensible perspective.  Inevitably, whatever difficulty exists in the situation is reduced to its actual and conquerable size.  We are left to confront the situation with all our natural and acquired resources working for us.  We can play the game the way we know how to with our talent, determination, and understanding of what needs to be done and how to get it done.

To put the situation in perspective, ask the question: What really is the worst thing that can happen?  Think of what consequences are actually probable.  By examining fear, rather than pretending it does not exist, we gain courage and reduce the threat immediately.  Through self-talk that starts in our minds, we hear true possibilities, rather than the worst ones being imagined.  We carefully look at the truly possible futures and the "terrible" consequences and discover it is not so catastrophic.  They might be unpleasant, but they will not destroy you.  Finally, we are able to see what is within our control and what is not.  After examining the situation, we can focus on the elements that are within our control and leverage our past experiences to increase the probability for a favorable outcome.  The successes we achieved in our past are more real than the failures we fear in our future.

Confidence in Ourselves Precedes Action
We may not be confident in our ability in a particular situation but we can always be confident in ourselves as a person.  In that confidence is the freedom to do what we wish, see how capable we are to make the attempt, and attack the situation.

Our emotions interfere with our belief in ourselves when we are faced by challenges we do not think we are up to.  So we have to recognize the emotions that are inhibiting our bodies' easy movement and control them by winning the mind game.  We can then evaluate our behavior and performance, make a few adjustments, and try again.  We make some progress, feel better, and slowly gain confidence.

Confidence actually precedes true success, whether the activity is familiar or unfamiliar.  Confidence comes from the manner in which we have prepared for the activity.  This confidence is built one step at a time, coming in steps as each task-specific goal is achieved.  These achievements are the building blocks for confidence.  What should be in your head is a positive outlook and a good feeling for the competitive experience ahead of you.  Any expressions we make to that effect will help us.

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