I have written a couple of posts pertaining to how coaches can develop their teams, so it is now time to spend a few posts discussing how players should approach their game. The player’s mental approach to the game is many times difference between player mediocrity and greatness. Unfortunately, coaches often neglect the mental side of the game and the players are left to deal with it themselves. Let's start with the question of expectations.
How much does an athlete have to "prove" themselves and others?
What an athlete has to prove to himself
What athletes have to prove to themselves depends on who is setting the standard for their performance. For those players in elementary grades, the standard is typically set by the coach and parents. Unfortunately, at this age many times the parents and coaches standards are not aligned. The performance standard at this age for both the parties should be two fold: 1) learn something every practice and game to develop sound fundamentals, 2) have fun, enjoy the sport, and hopefully, fall in love with the game. As adults, many times we impose unrealistic competitive expectations on the youth athletes because we want them to be the "franchise" player on the team and make us (the parents) proud. Lofty expectations can damage the player's game and the view of themselves as a performer and person.
Young athletes are motivated by the needs to have fun and feel worthwhile, to feel a sense of achievement. With early-organized youth sports, run by adults, it is far too common for young players to become the means to the adults ends. The fun of the game can easily go out of the game for all involved. For the player, the joy of the recreational sport is replaced by the burden of anxiety. As parents and coaches, we need to keep our expectations aligned on developing game fundamentals and allowing them to enjoy the game.
By the time the athlete reaches middle school and high school, the player should be setting the standard for their performance. When a player set's their expectations, it needs to be aligned with the coach, the team's needs, and their ability. Do not guess what the coach wants, ask the coach early in the season what are his expectations for you as a player and for the team. Then ask, what he expects from you. Many experienced coaches will pull their players aside before the season starts and tell them one-on-one what he is expecting from them. If your coach does not do this, then ask him what his expectations are after practice in a one-on-one forum.
Notice I said "aligned with the coach." Being aligned with the coach and team is different than being set by the coach. As a player, you own your expectations. Setting your own expectations is based on what you have accomplished in the past and what you are working towards in the future.
What does the athlete have to prove to others
Once the player's expectations are aligned with the coach and the team needs, then the athlete does not have to prove anything to others. Most competitive sports are games of subtlety. They take touch, timing, good eyesight, and concentration. For maximum performance, players need to be relaxed and have an inner peace.
An athlete needs to create a mental fortress that keeps out external influences. This mental fortress keeps out the negative vibes, whether perceived or real. The mental fortress protects the player's inner peace from being disrupted by others. The crowds comments are blocked. The parents and other player’s expectations that are not aligned with your expectations are blocked. The petty chattering from the opposing team is blocked. This mental fortress protects you from external "noises" that get in the way of you performing this moments activity to perfection.
But for many youth players, the toughest external influence is peer pressure. Peer pressure comes from many places such as teammates, classmates, friends, or significant other. It can be either real or imagined, but either way can have the same devastating effect of making the athlete try too hard and not rely on their natural and learned abilities. Many times peer pressure is assumed by the better athlete players by believing they are being "counted on" to pull the team through to victory. It sounds noble to concern yourself with being the "go to" player, but your concern must be on what you can do to enable yourself to perform at the peak of your capabilities. That is all you can do, the wins and losses rest on every team members shoulders, not just ones.
Wrapping up
The player who can retain their joy for the game is the one who has not let other's needs intrude upon their own. They are more likely to perform their best and keep the fun in the game. The senses will not be dulled and their being will not be threatened. It is important to remember that a player not performing up to a goal can change the goal. A player not performing up to expectations must change their attitude. That is the distinction that needs to be made: goals serve you, expectations serve others. In the next post, I will look into goal setting.
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