It is much easier to build you athlete's confidence when they are performing well, but unfortunately it is not easy to obtain successful results in sports. As the coach, it is unrealistic for your players to expect you to be positive 7/24/365. There are going to be times when you need to correct them after they make a mistake or are upset with them because of a lack of effort. Many athletes admit that their coaches need to be hard on them at times to get their attention, which raises the question: How do you correct your athletes without them getting down on themselves? This is the real trick of coaching - knowing how to preserve your athletes' confidence when you need to correct them.
Top 10 list for maintaining confidence while challenging athletes
- Set high expectations and make it a "we" achievement
The best thing you can say to your athletes when they made a mistake is "I know your better than that." This simple phrase reinforces the belief that you have confidence in their ability and that you know they are capable of performing at much higher level than what they are currently showing. The key here is how you say it. If it is said in a sarcastic tone, it will lose its effectiveness. You have to be enthusiastic and say it in a way that will be perceived as a positive challenge by your athletes. Turn the challenge into a "we" achievement that lets the athlete know that together you will tackle the problem. Making it a "we" project shows your athletes that you are willing to partner with them to help them improve.
- Realize mistakes are not intentional
The vast majority of mistakes athletes make are not intentional. Athletes want to play well, not only for themselves, but also for their coaches and teammates. The mistakes they make are not because they want to make them, but more often because they have not sufficiently mastered the skill or are overwhelmed by the pressure of the moment. Realizing your players mistakes are not intentional can be challenging at times, but the best course of action initially is to support them and encourage them to correct it. If you act to quickly to criticize or demean your athletes, they will likely lose confidence, play tentatively, become defensive, and eventually resent your criticism. None of these actions help the team reach the goal of playing as a championship caliber organization.
- Allow athletes to play through mistakes
Although it is not always possible, a great way to demonstrate your confidence in an athlete is to allow them to play through their mistakes. Give them a chance to correct themselves within the game situation rather than pulling them out and immediately offering your feedback. Allowing athletes to self correct and learn from mistakes provides them with an opportunity to develop resiliency. If you pull your athletes every time they make a mistake, they will play tentatively out of fear of making a mistake. The quickest way to create a fear of failure in athletes is to punish them when they fail. Pulling an athlete immediately after a mistake is viewed as punishment. They will be more worried about making mistake and getting pulled than they are focused on making the plays. They will be thinking negative thoughts (ie., do not throw the ball away) instead of focusing on their positive capability (ie., I can make this throw) which only lead to more mistakes.
- Do not tolerate excuse making
In order for an athlete to take responsibility for their success, they must also take responsibility for the shortcomings and own the corrective action. Taking responsibility for their success develop a player's confidence and builds self-esteem. Taking responsibility for their mistakes demonstrates a high level of maturity and, after correction, boosts a player's confidence. By encouraging players to accept responsibility, you are encouraging them to take ownership of their failures and success. The successes they own develops a deep foundational confidence level in their ability that they will need when the inevitable series of short falls comes along.
- Keep it factual and focused on the solution
Like the players, many times coaches can get caught up in the emotions of the moment. In these types of moments, the feedback is emotionally charged and can lead to statements the coaches wish they never said. Instead of focusing on the problem, help athletes focus on the solution. When an athlete is struggling, focus them on the physical or mental adjustments they need to make to be successful. By saying "Make an adjustment," you are taking the player's focus away from the mistake and on to the correction they plan to make.
- Criticize the behavior, not the person
When giving criticism, make sure the target of it is the athlete's behavior and not the actual athlete themselves. Criticizing the behavior allows a person to keep their confidence intact because their behavior can be changed and corrected. However, if you criticize them as a person, they cannot help but take it personally.
- Surround the constructive feedback with positive reinforcements
What happens when a player's coach always find fault in what they are doing before mentioning anything good? The player become defensive right away and tunes the coach out. Your athletes will respond the same way to you if you always begin your feedback with something they are doing wrong. By sandwiching the constructive feedback between positive statements, the player's defensives stay down and they are more objective in listening to the feedback. This approach requires you to begin your interaction with something positive, instruct the athlete on what needs to be corrected, then finish the interaction with another positive statement.
- Keep the feedback private
Ever heard the phrase "Praise in public, criticize in private." When praising athletes in front of their peers, it does a lot to build their confidence. Conversely, when you criticize athletes in public, you embarrass them in front of their peers, which raise their defensive mechanism. When you criticize an athlete in front of his teammates on a regular basis, you will destroy that athlete's pride. This is the one thing you will be relying on when the going gets tough. No one likes to be singled out and berated in front of others, but this concept gets lost on some coaches when they communicate with athletes.
- Reinforce past successes and player strengths
In addition to your praise, athletes can build their own confidence by focusing on their strengths and past achievements. However, most athletes forget about these things when they are struggling and instead focus on the opposite: their current weaknesses and short term failures. Thus, one of the best things you can do is to remind them of how successful they are and provide concrete examples of this success. Refocus your athletes on their strengths. Remind them of past games or practices where they were successful because if they have done it once before, they can do it again.
- Never give up
When it comes to your players, you must adopt a never give up mind set. The last thing you would ever want them to do is to give up. If they ever sense you have given up on them, they will either give up on themselves or lose all respect for you and give up on you as a coach. A major factor in a player's confidence level comes from their belief that the coach has confidence in their athletic ability.
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